Page 30 - 158 varsity ebook

28 /

Dilemma Faced by

Young Gays in China

Young gays in China are struggling whether to tell their parents the truth...

By Jack Deng in Shenzhen

van Chen*’s father threatened to
cut ties with him when he talked
Iwith the family about homosexu-
als.

Homophobic Parents
“If I know that you are having any
connection with these people (homo-
sexuals), I am going to break your legs
and will never recognise you as my
son,” Chen recalled what his father
told him in 2014.
That was his father’s reaction when
Chen tried to test his parents’ attitude
towards homosexuals when he was a Some gay men think coming out to parents will only cause trouble.
secondary school student.
The current year three university “I understand my parents’ thoughts in 2016 and married couples now can
student who lives in Shenzhen real- but it is uncomfortable for me to live have two children.
ised he was gay when he was a boy. in a family that doesn’t accept me as I Gong once overheard a conver-
He finally decided to come out to am,” Chen says. sation between his father and his fa-
his parents in 2018 when he was 17. ther’s friends. Gong’s father said to his
His parents could not accept it. The Only Child friends that he would wait for Gong
“After I told them that I am gay, my Unlike Chen, Austin Gong* choos- to have a child rather than having an-
dad left home quietly for a while, as es not to tell his parents that he is gay. other child himself.
he could not believe what I told him,” Gong is currently studying at Shan- Knowing his father’s thoughts,
Chen says. dong University. As the only child in Gong decided to keep his homosexu-
Chen’s mother believes that being his family, his parents are urging him ality a secret.
gay is a kind of mental illness, which to get married and have a child after “I have no confidence in my par-
is against the law of nature and can be graduation. ents. They will not accept that I am
cured. The Chinese government intro- gay. They cannot understand what is
“Every day she keeps asking me duced One-Child Policy in 1978. happening,” Gong says.
when I will find a girlfriend. She pre- Under the policy, married couples Gong is afraid of making his par-
tends that I am straight,” Chen says. could only have one child. Having a ents feel sad and disappointed. He
Chen’s parents think the continuity gay child in a family means the end of thinks telling his parents his sexual
of their bloodline is the most impor- their family bloodline. orientation will only cause trouble.
tant for the family. The government relaxed the policy His solution is to bury his head in the