每月彙整: 2012 年 12 月

如果,可以活在巴魯坦星……│巴魯坦星人

原刊於《那中文的大學那大學的文集那文集的中文》。中大學生報作品集,2001年5月。

 

無論一個怎樣開放的社會,壓力總是不知從何處走出來的。

三年來上過不少莊,系會、迎新營、院慶……好像數之不盡的。可是卻甚少出席與「老鬼」間的聚會。一來不是很熟,沒甚麼話題,一輪悶場之後,好像沒有甚麼發生過;再者可能已出現了代溝。

二來,「那是沒有得著的。」因為我從不會作所謂的交流。經驗告訴我,「那多是沒有得著的。」每年的情況大不相同,我要你的經驗來幹甚麼呢?另一方面,我總不信自己不能解決所遇上的問題,而需要請教你呢!有一點自大呢……

自己不需要別人的經驗,卻相信自己的經驗,認為自己不需要別人的東西。到底有沒有矛盾呢?或許你應該給我多十年時間。

三來,也許要先推翻以上兩點。我理解它們都是很好的藉口。中五那年,教經濟那位老師在臨考會考前說,若未理解課文的內容,便不要做past paper,不然餘下的信心也會被磨掉。我是很懶的,不讀書便做paper,因為試題這玩兒,年年也差不多的。結果這科得了一個A。

原來那時我還有挑戰「經驗」的。但進了大學後便沒有再這樣做了。

大學到底是一個怎麼樣的機構呢?它能磨滅人的信心的。倒是奇怪的一點是,當我們的知識與日俱增時,信心卻不斷減少。或許面對大世界時我們都是無知的。世界總是在轉,要封閉自己其實亦是一件十分容易的事。

或許我會常說自己想追尋真理,但現實上卻是一隻鴕鳥,不住地往下轉;地球亦何嘗不是在轉。每日東向西轉,都是在轉吧。或許有一天地球不會轉,但你知地球正以時速四百幾公里轉動嗎?若它突然,是十分突然的,停下來,我們都會以時速四百幾公里直飛向太空的深處。不用我說,你和他也會知道,那是會死的。若生存是我們的最大價值,我想我們都不會希望地球停下來。不過,地球會轉是對的嗎?

再給我三十一年,可以嗎?

或許到時我們都已移民到巴魯坦星,過著比地球上好一億零九十二倍的生活了。那地球怎樣呢?由得它吧!反正都已踏進了一個新的領域,找到更好的生活了。

不過三十一年是否足夠給科學家們研究,怎樣移民火星呢?還是總有人不捨得地球呢?我想三十二年之後,我還是放不下地球的。

好像太遠了,怎麼去了巴魯坦星呢?明明是談老鬼與「經驗」的問題的呢!算了,睡覺。

〈口琴王子何永泰之中大往事〉(節錄)│摘自《中大校友》 30期,2002年6月

原刊於《中大校友》第30期,2002年6月

對於何永泰來講,音樂是一個很好的話題。「記得當年在聯合書院唸書的時候,因為學生會幹事會出缺,於是我就做了一陣子的署理會長。如是者,許多時候都要跟書院院長李卓予教授商討舉辦活動的事宜。」「有一次跟他談起音樂家,我就提了兩個人:馬勒和理查‧施特勞斯。就個人喜好而言,我比較欣賞理查‧施特勞斯的作品。」「到我第四年的時候,我申請了戴麟趾獎學金,及後就要去面試。在面試期間,獎學金評審委員會委員最常問的問題通常就是如何應用所學的知識回饋社會等,但李卓予院長的問題卻與別不同。他劈頭第一句就問我:『為何你喜歡理查‧施特勞斯多於馬勒呢?』他當時問我這條問題,令我有點出乎意料之外!」

究竟是甚麼原因令何永泰欣賞理查‧施特勞斯多於馬勒呢?「我覺得以表達力和運用樂隊的技巧來說,理查‧施特勞斯高於馬勒。唸大學時,我副修哲學;而唸哲學的人,比較浪漫的都喜歡尼采哲學。大家都知道,尼采寫了一本很著名的書叫《查拉圖斯特拉如是說》,而理查‧施特勞斯的一首交響詩〈查拉圖特拉斯如是說〉,就是根據此書而寫的。因為這個原故,我便開始聽他的音樂。第二個原因,維也納管絃樂團第一次來港演奏時,我還是學生。那時我通宵排隊買票入場欣賞。記得當年他們演奏的是理查‧施特勞斯的〈死與淨化〉,現場聽維也納交響樂團演奏他的交響詩境界昇華的感覺,令人永遠難忘。
何永泰(94聯合政政)現為資深證券分析員。他於2001年10月跟拍檔陳錦樂先生,在德國口琴之鄉特勞辛根舉行的世界口琴節中,勇奪二重奏世界冠軍寶座。熱愛口琴的何永泰現義務擔任香港口琴協會秘書長,積極推廣香港的口琴活動和教學。

Article A │400野

原刊於《中大學生報迎新特刊2001:中大使用手冊》,中大學生報出版,2001年夏

The movie “Fight Club” is (pseudo?) insightful and critical. When the narrator, i.e. Edward Norton, happens to walk through a nicely furnished room, in which everything has a price-tag and product description; when he admits we used to read pornography for excitation, but now we accept furniture catalogue instead, I would think that it is good that I feel good to be able to read this critical theme from the movie. More importantly, I read this critical theme gladly, which laterally means that we too are sensible to this criticism of the modern society we are in and we are comfortable to be critical.

I bet each and every one of us, when applying for university admission, had inserted the term “critical thinking” in our JUPAS self-recommendation essay. It seems that even though not all of us sincerely have a love of critical thinking, having it would be a bonus to us, or at least the universities and other people would be happy seeing us acquiring or even possessing it. As university students responsible to the society, it seems that we are required to think critically, and to have vivid stance (let alone left or right or middle), and then actualize to our stance in action when necessary. (e.g. when our embassy being bombed). (Only?) in this way, the image, as well as the content, of us as university student could be fulfilled, proudly.

Back to the movie. In the first half of the movie, we could see the wholesale criticism of the modern society, and thereof the formation of Fight Club. When the Fight-Clubmates crush a Starbucks-liked chained coffee shop, they are effectively crushing the coffee shop for me, hence my anger is vented. However, when the narrator is trying to stop his clubmates from blowing the credit card record centre up (their reason of doing so is ‘to eliminate the record of all the unfair financial relationships between big banks and ordinary people’ – ‘commodity fetishism’ of the people is well constructed socially!), but my feeling was getting complicated. The reason why he stops his clubmates from doing so maybe that he is still too emotionally and habitually attached to the capitalistic mode of living, but it is also reasonable for the narrator to believe that even the status quo is unacceptable, his clubmates’ action just does not help. On the one hand, being merely destructive here is by no mean constructive. On the other hand, even if they blow everything up, the world becomes a blank sheet for them to fill all over again, we can still certainly doubt anyone’s own ability in creating a better (regardless of which version of ‘good’), let alone perfect, world. At least from the considerations above, deterring his clubmates from doing that is arguably reasonable, if not beyond reasonable doubt. However, “not supporting their job means only sympathy to the status quo”, that is his clubmates’ logic. To them, one is either a revolutionary comrade or a thoughtless conformist in the capitalistic society.

When I was watching, I also asked myself why it is the person ‘I’ who think should ‘he’ do this, should ‘he’ do that, instead of having ‘I’ myself as the vanguard? Why it is not ‘I’, based on so many soild theoretical frameworks and
criticisms thereby, to take these opportunities to create the order of our society anew? Theoretically speaking, one certainly can explain the way in which our desire to consume is socially constructed within a network of unequal power relation. A long as that construction persists, and as long as we’re living in a way coherent with that construction, the unequal power relation persists or even blossoms. (Examples manifesting your critical mind would be refusing to have meals in McDonalds, as our having meals there would literally support MCs paying of humiliating salary to its workers and letting child labour in Shenzhen over-work to produce Snoopy toys that we love so much). If action is based solely on profound justification, then we may have no excuse to get round. But frankly speaking, to all these questions, I can’t offer a consistent answer. But given the world is so unfair and cruel, if I am satisfied enough knowing I could criticize, and then lay back and relax to leave the real work to others, I should be called Mr. Disgusting.

I have come across an article in《中大三十年》, namely〈犬儒派,你地無料到﹗〉. In the article, the author singled out 2 kinds of people as 2 opposing camps: Student Union’s members and students whom the author called Cynics(犬儒派). The author didn’t define “Cynic”. However, deduced from the article, Cynics criticize without any suggestion; Cynics stand firm on their ideals without even the intention to give up, not to mention sacrifice, anything; Cynics advocate “the protection of the right not to participate”, etc. On the other hand, the students in the Student Union, according to the author, though are not much more able than the Cynics, they are at least more industrious. While Cynics can only be negative, negating everything they feel like in a position oriented by being opposite to anything, the Student Union members are much more acknowledgeable, they are affirmative, they have their own position and opinion, that guide them to act thereby, blah blah blah…

So much about Fight Club and the Cynics.

If we are serious and critical of our university and even the world, we would probably find them ugly and disappointing as can be. And the question followed would be: what should we do if we are to be responsible for the society? Approaching this question, there are different levels of self-orientation. Generally, but not exclusively, speaking, level one, we can just keep thinking and sitting down; level two, we can have our own established viewpoint but yet not actualized in action; level three, let each and every action of ours reveals our position and viewpoint. I certainly believe that action is a direct way of struggle or manifestation, but not only does the difficulty of action lies in the need of a good plan, collective and massively organized action might even be dangerous of eliminating the will and difference among the individuals involved, rendering agency redundant. Last but not least, the success of any action cannot lack any reasonable ideal. Therefore, thinking is an indispensable element. That’s why I think we should not blame people only if they do not come up with any action. They may have all the reasons well-considered before they decide not to act, their consideration may even be out of your conception, who knows? After all, action should not be exclusively for action’s sake. It would be quite naive to judge only from what’s present, black and white are not the only two colours that exist. And it would be equally no good to be satisfied by merely knowing how to criticize. That action has limitation doesn’t immediately mean action should be abandoned altogether, there is no shield of not acting.

Maybe I am just another Cynic whose ability is only enough to express this is not good, that is not satisfactory. I have to admit that I am also caught in the tension above. If you just have no clue after reading this article, it is
perfectly fine.